Internet is finally up again and I'm back here blogging.
Staying home on at saturday night is so unlike me.
But I'm feel so tired to do anything.
Not even to walk out of this room and go have my dinner.
My mind is super energetic.
It make me feel like going out and party the whole night
But my body is just so restless.
Sometimes I feel that this blog seems so pointless.
Every now and then there will be things that I so feel like blogging about but I can't.
Coz I dun wan certain people to read it.
At diff times it apply to diff ppl.
But sometime I really feel like hack care all and just delete this blog.
The reason why I'm holding back is because of the memories that holds in here and the links that I use them to update myself about my friends.
Can someone tells me what brings 2 ppl together?
To me I think it takes fate and the correct time to bring 2 ppl into a r/s.
But it takes countless things to maintain them.
To give and take?
Yes, that's what everyone will agree on isn't it.
To make the other party happy?
Seeing him/her happy make you happy?
But making urself unhappy?
To change urself?
I really dun know.
But to accept every single thing of the other parties is the most impossible thing I guess.
I used to be the type of gf that...
Will give in anything in order just to maintain the r/s.
Even at the cost of making myself unhappy.
But I've came to realise that it dun work over so many r/s.
And now I decided not to change myself for anyone anymore.
Maybe a lil will do.
But if almost everything I do you can't accept and you dun like it and wants me to change, you might as well just change me.
To get insulted and pretend like nothing happen.
Is not like it never ever happen before.
But to get insulted and feeling so hurt.
Yet when you talk to this person abt it in hoping he will apologise.....
He didn't.
Instead he said it was something that came directly from his heart.
Does that mean that it won't hurt just because it from the bottom of ur heart?
And to continue saying something that hurts even more.
I went speechless.
I understand that he cares and wants me to be home early and not hanging out late.
But all I want is just to have fun and enjoy myself.
That's all.
Whenever I'm sleeping in the day time I'll alw wake up once in a awhile to check on my phone to sees if he msg but he nv because he's afraid that he would wake me up from my sleep.
But I think likewise.
Waking up finding no msgs of his makes me goes back to bed.
And I won't wake up till I see his msgs or I think it's very late alr before I wake up.
That's me.
Tell me what I can do to make us think alike.
To make us both happier.
