hmm.. after all the anger that i type jus now.. sitting down reflecting on wat i've been doing recently.. i was cheering up ting ytd asking her to be more happy and dun think abt the unhappy stuff.. she ans me.. y mux pian zhi ji.. then i started thinking again.. am i really happy or am i jus trying to make myself happy.. have i really let go or am i jus trying to hide my feelings? i really dunno.. as the time pass i start to be unaware of wat i'm doing and wat i wan.. i told her the logic to me now is, work is to kill time and time is to kill the pain.. i really start to not understandimg myself again.. suddenly all my heart is filled with sadness again.. how can i ever kill the sadness in me? i'm really at a lost.. can some one pls guide me? haix..
hmm... talking abt wat i did today.. went to meet adam for movie.. watch hse of fury.. he actually watched it already yet he still watch wif me and didn't even tell me till i ask.. -.-" but that was quite nice of him lar.. haha.. anyway i'm feeling so bad that he cancel his appt wif his fren because he dun wanna pang seh me.. aiyo.. really dunno wat to say.. nvm.. talk to him alot today.. talking abt bgr and many many stuff.. we both agree that at this point of life we shouldn't get into a relationship.. haha.. i think that i'm too confuse to be in a realtionship and i won't be a gd gf.. dun wanna commit at the moment till i found the right guy for me.. hee.. anyway that show is still quite nice lar.. haha.. and after talking to him so much.. actually found out that overall he is a nice guy lar.. but jus that he's very lame at times.. haha.. a nice fren to chat with.. haha..
ok.. back to ting.. i see her work and work everyday i feel so stress.. i know that she is very stress.. but girl.. i hope u give urself some time to rest.. dun over-tired urself ok? i see le will sad de wor.. haix.. why does everyone seems so stress up? i really can't figure it out man.. sianx.. i jus hope that joyce will call my and gif me some nice job.. either i work like crazy or i nv work and start to go out evey single day and spending money again... how can i ever save $ for taiwan then.. stress up man.. after i saw john blog make me feel more confuse.. regret is one thing we have to live we.. i agree totally.. but why are there so many regret?? haix.. maybe it like wat the tv says.. without all the unhappiness u won't realise the happiness that u are having.. quite true hor.. haix.. /me still reflecting on my actions..
-Xiao Ben Dan-
